A few years ago, we were at a soccer game watching our son Ethan. Our Saturdays were usually spent in lawn chairs cheering from the sidelines.
In the middle of the game, the ref blew the whistle.
Everyone turned waiting for his direction. The ref pointed to my son who was desperately trying to tie his shoes.
A wave of total embarrassment hit me.
My 8-year- old didn’t know how to tie his shoes.
Another player ran to his aid, tied his shoes and the game resumed.
You’re probably wondering how I missed teaching my 8-year-old such a critical life skill.
I can summarize this parenting failure in one word:
Procrastination.
You see, I wanted to teach him to tie his shoes. It just never felt like the right time. Our lives were a constant state of hustle and we ran from one thing to next.
My schedule as an entrepreneur, mom and wife demanded so much.
It was just easier to tie his shoes for him.
I also believed he would acquire this skill somewhere else.
I thought Ethan would certainly learn to tie his shoes at school.
I hoped a teacher would make it happen. Maybe a supportive friend would jump in.
It never happened.
You’re probably thinking to yourself, “Lady, it’s your kid! How did you not teach him to tie his shoes like 4 years ago? How does one procrastinate on something that long?”
My answer: one day at a time.
Procrastination is tricky because all productivity sits inside the promise of “tomorrow.”
In the moment, saying “tomorrow” doesn’t feel like a big deal.
I mean, how many times have we said to ourselves these lines:
“I’ll start writing that book tomorrow.”
“I’ll start eating healthy tomorrow.”
“I’ll start managing my time more effectively tomorrow.”
Procrastination: It’s just one day away.
Then, days turn into months and months turn into years.
Then 4 years later your kid doesn’t know how to tie his fucking shoes.
After the soccer game, I decided it was time to teach my son to tie his shoes.
Are you ready to start that thing you’ve been putting off?
Here are some things that help me:
Just Do It:
One of the biggest barriers I face to accomplishing things: perfectionism.
Before I put something out in the world, I want it to be perfect.
I want my website to have all the right tabs before launching it. I want my blog post to be structured in utterly moving ways. I believe I need a solid hour of uninterrupted time to teach my son to tie his shoes.
Someone much wiser than me said: done is better than perfect.
Take the leap.
The scariest shit I’ve done-I did imperfectly.
I was rarely prepared for any of it.
I launched my author website and friends found glitches. They were corrected in a matter of hours.
I decided to open an Inn with zero experience as a small business owner. The first year felt impossible, but I gradually learned the business.
Stop waiting for tomorrow. Stop waiting until you’re 100% ready.
While thoughtful planning is admirable, over-planning will guarantee you never accomplish the things you want.
Make it easy:
We are inherently lazy human beings (you must read Atomic Habits by James Clear).
Whatever you want to do- make it easy.
When I want to walk in the morning, I wear my exercise clothes to bed. When I wake up, I ‘m ready to go. That’s at least 50% of the reason I procrastinate (I have to change clothes).
I want to read before I go to bed. Every morning when I make my bed, I lay my book on top of the comforter. When I crawl into bed at night, the book is the first thing I see.
Make it impossible to procrastinate by making the thing you want to do easy.
Let go of what others think.
No matter what you do-people will have opinions about it.
Many unfulfilled dreams never come to be- because we fear what people might think.
Several people told me opening an Inn would never work in downtown Lee’s Summit. They told me to stick to what I know.
Many people questioned why I wanted to write a book.
I’m sure the parents on the soccer field thought: she really should have less dreams and teach her son to tie his shoes (hahaha; point taken)
People have the right to wonder, make assumptions and question you.
However, if you define your ONE SINGLE PRECIOUS LIFE (as my favorite author Glennon says) based on the opinions of others…you will waste your one single precious life procrastinating on all the things that matter to you.
Plus, those people probably aren’t coming to your funeral anyway.
I probably won’t be there either so take the parts of my perspective you love and throw out the rest.
Until tomorrow,
